It was the happiest day, December 11th, 2009. Imagine, while I’m wearing my Joey Samson’s wedding gown, I saw him standing there. Though he’s nervous, I can see in his eyes that same happiness he had when I said “yes” to him seven years ago. Finally, on this day, I’m going to be Mrs. Alizza Mistades. Yes, the luckiest of them all.
We took our vows and I remember telling him “from that very day I saw you, I know, “Ikaw na, ikaw lang.” Wow, I can’t believe that I’m marrying my best friend, who happened to be my classmate also, as well as my officemate, kumpare, business partner, partner-in-crime, mentor, adviser, “at lahat-lahat na.”
The wedding was really a moment to remember. We had our honeymoon at a cozy place, had a yummy candle lit dinner and had the best vacation after. We spent our first month together at home. We woke up with a lovely breakfast everyday, cooked lunch together and do window shopping during weekends. I always called him at work to check if he’s well and waited for him till he yell “luv, I’m home!” later every night.
After three months, it was confirmed. One of the best news we had. We’re going to have a baby. It was a nice feeling. A honeymoon baby! We’re lucky. All are excited when they heard about the news and eagerly looking forward to our next adventure. Soon we will be the three musketeers. We nicknamed him Lego based from the first uttered word LA said when he saw his first ultrasound print.
But my pregnancy wasn’t easy. I had a threatened abortion on my first trimester and was advised to rest. However, work was on its tightest and the stress level was high. After two weeks rest, leg works resumed. I just became more careful during that time and continued doing all the responsibilities in the office.
On June 28th, I was on my third trimester when I got sick. So I requested if I could take a leave till the day I give birth which is due September 13th, my birthday. The pregnancy was difficult that I have to stay in bed most of the time, do a little effort whenever I need to use the bathroom or get up to eat.
July 29th. I was confined because of high blood pressure. My OB told me that we were just buying time for the baby and do the C Section eventually. So they gave me medications that prepared me and Lego for early delivery. I was still smiling though worried. I really wanted to see my baby but it will be too early for him to come out. After two days, I was discharged and continued to rest at home while in constant contact with my doctor. We’re hoping for another two weeks before I give birth.
August 2nd, 3 days had passed, around 5:30pm. I started to feel uneasy. My blood pressure was 160/100. I felt cramps in my belly. My nanay was pretty worried but I kept on telling her to relax. I told her that I need to rest and maybe the BP will stabilize. But it didn’t. So I called LA around 6pm and told him to fetch me. I wanted to go to the hospital soon. I already informed my doctor and she’s already on her way there. Rush hour delayed us and we reached the hospital by 7:30pm. In the admission room, my blood pressure was still high. They put Doppler on my belly to monitor my baby’s heartbeat. But there was none. He was also not moving. As my doctor arrived, my blood pressure dropped. I was feeling sleepy, yet my belly was aching. Desperate to find a little hope for my baby, she searched for a heartbeat using the ultrasound instead. I began to talk to Lego to please, hang in there. “Hang in there baby, mommy is here. I won’t let go,” I whispered softly. Maybe he heard me. It was a very soft move. He kicked. Like he was telling me, “Ma, I’m still here”.
With that, my doctor called for the staff and ordered to prepare the Operating Room ASAP. They prepared my gown and rushed me inside the OR. My anesthesiologist was talking to me, keeping me calm. He told me that he will put me to sleep and I should relax for everything is going to be alright. Things started to get blurry but I can still see their silhouettes, rushing, yelling. I just told myself, “This is it. See you soon Lego,” and the bright light was the last thing I remembered as well as the gentle whispers before I fell asleep.
I woke up seeing chaos everywhere. There were so many people around. I noticed my arms and found many tubes attached. There were Dopplers on my chest, tubes in my nose and every tube was either connected to packs, bottles or machines. Then I saw LA. He was the only person I recognized. His eyes were really worried but somehow relieved. He reached for my hands which I could barely move. I asked for my baby and he replied that Lego is doing well. I asked him when I could see him. He just answered soon. “Be better soon,” he added. After that, I saw more familiar faces like my nanay and tatay, dad, kuya, uncles and relatives. They kept on saying “kaya mo yan” and I’ll reply with a thumbs up, barely lifting my shaking hands. They also said I became a “mestiza” because I was so pale, almost paper white. My uncle also informed me about the priest. He gave me prayers and offered me a mass. I prayed with them.
Clueless from what’s happening, all I was thinking of was when I would be transferred to my room and be with my baby. Also, I was so thirsty and asked every nurse I saw for a glass of water but all they did was damped my lips with a moist cotton ball. Everyone was so busy. Doctors came in, nurses extracted blood from my feet for my arms were already numb from the previous extractions. Multiple x-rays, ultrasound, ECG. I got so many tubes connected to bottles, packs and machines which made it harder to move. Occasionally, nurses will lift my back so a doctor can check my breathing, while another doctor looked at my wound and someone else on other parts of my body. I heard somewhere that they might “open” me again because my belly was getting huge. I also heard that I have to pee soon. I asked for nanay and LA to be beside me always and every time they reached for me I noticed their eyes was still red and watery. Maybe they cried, just worried perhaps.
Above all that chaos in the recovery room, there was a moment when I felt very sleepy. That time, fear suddenly strikes. I was so afraid to sleep that I fought hard not to close my eyes. I felt an immense fear, not of death, but leaving everyone behind. It was a tremendous fear of loneliness and there’s no way I’ll leave like that. No, not until I see and hug my baby, and not till I experience life and dream with LA once more. Panicked, I called for my doctor and asked her desperately to do something. “I don’t want to sleep, please help me. I don’t want to go, not this way,” I begged. My doctor calmed me down, told me to relax and comfort me. But I know deep inside, she, as well as everyone around me, were trying their hardest to comfort me. LA hold and calmed me, he promised he won’t leave my side. Not now, not ever.
I was transferred to MICU after 10 hours. Medications continued and they assigned three nurses to care for me. Those were difficult days, painful and restless. I’m still very thirsty. I could barely rest because the machines were so noisy. They alarmed whenever it had abnormality readings. Blood extraction every hour. Continued x-rays, ultrasound, ECG, blood transfusions, etc. They even put tube in my nose and Bypop for I can hardly breathe. I can’t remember all those painful procedures but what hurts me most was not able to see Lego yet, and keep him by my side.
To somehow ease my pain, LA took videos and pictures of Lego while he’s still in NICU. Those videos were my only way to be with Lego and it gave me strength to go through all what’s happening. Like me, he is also fighting. During my 5th day in MICU, my “Christmas tree” (tubes hanging, dextrose, etc) started to decrease. My MICU doctor challenged me to get up and sit. If I do, she will personally request for a team to bring me to NICU and finally see my baby. With that, I emotionally and mentally prepared. I told myself I’ll do it. I’ll sit, I’ll get out of here and I’ll see him.
On the sixth day, I got up with the help of my nurses. I sat beside the bed and started to slowly swing my legs. I’m preparing for the big moment. Ready to take my first breakfast, I sipped the hot soup and drunk some water for the first time in days. I was transferred to a comfy lazy boy chair while waiting every second for my “Go NICU team” to arrive. Finally, they came and with all my strength, I reached for the wheelchair one step at a time while my nurses guided me and LA holding my arms.
Nervous and excited as I arrived on that room, I reached for that transparent box. There I saw an angel. The most beautiful sight I ever saw. Oh those eyes, that gentle little fragile body. The first time I touched him seems like everything had stopped. All I can see was him, with me and his daddy. Finally, I felt so peaceful and happy. We are complete. It’s my family. We’re the three musketeers. LA, Lego and I. For the first time, I cried.
We stayed in the hospital for a month. Lego had his therapy, medications and further tests. I needed to be closely monitored too. What happened to me was an experience I won’t forget. I can still remember when my doctor told me what really happened. I had an abruptio placenta. They said that if it took me another 5 minutes before the operation, Lego and I would have been gone. I was bleeding inside and Lego was out of oxygen for five minutes. When I had my C-section, I started to bleed nonstop. 3 liters of blood were lost. I was literally bleeding to death. My kidneys failed. My heart enlarged due to stress for I was transfused with more than 30 bags of blood. My lungs were damaged. There were so many complications. Lego had complications too. My doctors said that we are really lucky for very few, almost to none, had survived this kind of case. Until now that we’re outpatient, caution and continued tests and medications are still advised. We regularly visit our doctors. We had specialists monitoring our recovery.
Regarding the medical expenses, it was really a time when we had proven we are not alone. Pledges come in. A friend of a friend donated amounts to help us. Strangers helped. Long lost colleagues visit us in the hospital. Everyone we know offered mass and prayers. And we are really thankful and grateful to everyone.
Its December once again. Lego is now four month old. He already giggles and responds with a sweet smile which made him even cuter. Everyone loves him and made him as their favorite “pamangkin” and “apo”. My facebook friends unanimously commented that he is really cute and handsome, and definitely looks like me. Sorry LA, but I won on that category. Don’t worry, for his lips and nose are from you.Someday, Lego will be the next Mistades MVP in Ateneo. A basketball star who followed the footsteps of his Lilo Chito. Lilo will start his training as soon as he learned to play ball.
We all look forward on that time. I look forward on that time. For I am lucky and really blessed for this second chance, this second life. From now on, I will cherish every moment, look back on every memory and feel all the love. Remember bebi (LA), you promised me another wedding on our 25th year. It’s been a year already since I saw you in Joey Samson’s “John Lloyd” barong looking so handsome and dreamy near the altar. It’s already a year ago when I promised you that I’ll be with you till death do us part. What happened is just another challenge in our life and I’m sure there is more. But we, the three musketeers will face them together. Starting today and for many more years to come.
I love you so much bebi and happy anniversary. This is just our first year.
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